The Cost of Unpaid Caregiving: Sonia Gomez, MSW, LCSW
The Cost of Unpaid Caregiving
By: Sonia Gomez, LCSW
What is unpaid caregiving?
In thinking of unpaid caregiving, it is possible that most of us think of caring for an older family member whose physical health is declining. While that is an example, unpaid caregiving also involves caring without compensation for the emotional and/or physical needs of anyone who is not able to care for it themselves due to a limitation. According to John Hopkins Medicine, “In simple terms, a caregiver is a person who tends to the needs or concerns of a person with short- or long-term limitations due to illness, injury or disability” (2024). A surprising example of caregiving can include a parent caring for their child’s emotional needs after the child received a diagnosis of ADHD by teaching emotional regulation skills. It can also include caring for a spouse after a surgery. Some might even argue that caring for the family dog as their health declines also falls under the category of unpaid caregiving.
Who engages in unpaid caregiving?
All in all, most of us will engage in unpaid caregiving at some point in our lives. According to Psychology Today, “At least 44 million Americans provide unpaid care for an adult or child…women are much more likely to take on the caregiving role, although men do it as well” (2024). Caregivers can be hired for their training and education and therefore paid for their services. However, most caregivers are unpaid family members. According to John Hopkins, “ 89% of caregivers are related to the care recipient” (2024). Unpaid caregiving does not provide a set of boundaries in comparison to paid caregiving. For example, there is no start or end time to the caregiving. “[Unpaid] caregivers frequently feel on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, which can cause great stress” (2024). This can set unpaid caregivers up to prioritize the needs of those they are caring for versus their own.
What does Unpaid Caregiving Stress look like?
Unpaid caregiving is likely to lead to high levels of stress as it requires the caregiver to focus on the needs of others often at the detriment of their own needs. Unpaid caregivers are often so focused on their role to provide care that they may not even be aware of how unpaid caregiving affects their own mental and physical health. According to Mayo Clinic:
“The signs of caregiver stress include:
- Feeling burdened or worrying all the time.
- Feeling tired often.
- Sleeping too much or not enough.
- Gaining or losing weight.
- Becoming easily irked or angry.
- Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy.
- Feeling sad.
- Having frequent headaches or other pains or health problems.
- Misusing alcohol or drugs, including prescription medicines.
- Missing your own medical appointments” (2024).
What to do?
Unpaid caregiving is simply not sustainable. In order to properly and sustainably care for a loved one, we need to prioritize our own emotional and physical needs as much as if not more than we prioritize the needs of our loved one. This does not mean neglecting your loved one’s needs. It means to get creative in how to meet their needs and prioritize your own while you’re at it, too.
Here are a few tangible things you can do:
Set Boundaries:
Establishing a set of limitations that take into consideration your own emotional and physical needs is essential. This process can involve frequently checking in with yourself on whether you are hungry, thirty or tired and then formulating a plan to eat, drink some water and rest. It is important to acknowledge that you may need to eat first before your loved one or that you may need to recruit for support while you care for your most basic needs.
Ask for and accept support:
Create a list of folks that can pitch in for different household tasks such as grocery shopping, meal prepping, and taking out the garbage. Small household tasks can easily add up and when you are able to find someone to take on that task then you are free to provide your loved one with proper care and [again] prioritize your needs over household tasks.
Talk about it:
Whether it’s with a friend, family member or in a support group setting, talk about your thoughts and feelings in your role as a caregiver. This can be uncomfortable and vulnerable. However, you may find others who have experienced very similar thoughts and feelings. You may also find a sense of relief from the mental and emotional load you carry in your role as a caregiver.
Journal Prompts:
- What are some ways you have engaged in unpaid caregiving?
- How did unpaid caregiving meet or not meet your expectations?
- What are some boundaries you set in place to support your role as a caregiver in the long-term?
References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/caregiving
If you are interested in exploring and learning more, please reach out to our Intake Department at intakes@amkcounseling.com or by phone at (773) 729-1967.