Three helpful tips to support a loved one who is struggling with their mental health
Supporting a loved one who is struggling with their mental health can be confusing, overwhelming, and emotionally draining. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, as of 2024 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year and 1 in 6 U.S youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year with suicide being the second leading cause of death among people aged 10-14 (2025).This article will explain helpful tips when supporting someone who is struggling with their own mental health.
1. Ask if they want support or advice
It can be so automatic to jump to problem solving mode especially when someone we love is struggling. Most of the time, people just want someone to listen to them talk or sit with them in silence for support rather than give advice on what they “should” do. Giving advice when someone is not in the headspace to take it can often do more harm than good. It is as simple as asking! Do you want me just to listen and support or do you want my advice?
2. Avoid toxic positivity and comparing struggles to other people
Mental health is a hard thing for many people to talk about. It can be exceptionally hard for someone to open up about their own struggles, even with the people they feel most safe with. It can feel invalidating to be told statements like “Look on the bright side!”, “Things could be much worse!”, “At least you are not ____”, and “Everything happens for a reason.” People naturally tend to compare themselves to others but whether someone is drowning in 1,000 ft of water or 5 ft, they are both still drowning.
When you love someone who is going through a hard time, we often feel the pain they are carrying and want to remind them that many other people are in the same boat. While it is true that many other people are also dealing with their own mental health struggles, it can also be invalidating to hear a statistic about how many other people are going through the same thing. Instead it is more helpful to hear, “I know you may feel like you are alone in this but I am here however you need me.”
3. Take care of yourself
If there is one thing to take away from this article, it should be to make sure you are taking care of yourself first. Here is a helpful analogy to think about: A woman gets into a car accident and is recovering from non life threatening injuries. Her partner is so worried and emotional about the accident that they end up panicking so much that the woman now needs to take care of her partner and reassure them that she is okay…So much so that now she begins exaggerating how quickly she is healing from her injuries to try and minimize her partner’s emotional reaction. This same scenario commonly plays out with mental health.
It can be emotionally draining to see a loved one struggling with their own mental health. While it is completely normal and emotionally healthy to have a reaction to your loved one struggling, you also cannot be of help to anyone else unless you are taking care of yourself first. Whether that be journaling, meditating, leaning on your own support system, or seeking out therapy for yourself, it is so important to take care of your own mental health especially when someone you love is going through a hard time.
If you are looking for more resources check out these podcast episodes:
- https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-support-a-loved-ones-mental-health-with-sophie-scott/id1443615779?i=1000684789052
- https://megaphone.link/RVOHE9994684707
- https://living-fully.simplecast.com/episodes/strategies-for-supporting-loved-ones-7Ab6qicZ
Mental health by the numbers. NAMI. (2025, February 11).